I Can't Explain Myself, Because I'm Not Myself, You See?
by xPureImaginationx
Summary: In Storybrooke, Alice doesn't remember anything about her life with Jefferson, or who he even is. As his obsession with her grows stronger each day, he is determined to find a way to make her remember him... No matter what the price is. AlicexJefferson. Shows both Storybrooke & Wonderland.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, and thank you for the interest in my story! We'll be taking a look through the life of Alice Pleasance, a nineteen year old girl who forgot about her life in Wonderland after being hit by the curse that trapped all of the storybook characters in Storybrooke. Some chapters will be taking place in Storybrooke, while others will be taking place in Wonderland. **

**This chapter is short, just an introduction that I randomly thought of. It only gets better from here, I promise! ;)**

**If you read, *please* take the time to review! I love hearing both praises and criticism. Thank you and enjoy! **

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"She has no idea who I am…. our life together, where we come from. I do. That's my curse."

"Why don't you reach out to her, why don't you tell her?"

"And destroy her reality? It's hard enough to live in a land where you don't belong, but knowing it? Holding conflicting memories in your head... Will drive you mad."

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Her heels clicked hard against the ground, her pace as she walked along the sidewalk in a rush.

"I'm so sorry, I lost track of the - Yeah, I'm on my way now. No, everything's fine. I'll talk to you when I get there."

She disconnected the call and placed her cell phone in the small purse she had swung over her shoulder. Under her breath she mumbled something unclear, the people she clicked past turned to give her an uneasy look. Even on the most important of dates she had the habit of running late, a somewhat embarrassing habit. She couldn't afford to lose a promotion because of her disposition, so she broke into a run.

Now, I can't be sure if you have ever ran in heels before… So I'll let you know that it is not close to being simple, nor comfortable. She felt her heels sliding off the back of the shoes as she wobbled down the sidewalk. The coffee shop was in plain sight, just down the road… _Crack._

The blonde squealed as she felt herself starting to fall forward through the air, her hands flew out in front of her to keep her face from smacking against the concrete when the rest of her body met the ground. She groaned as she pushed herself back up into a sitting position, and took a look down at her shoes. Her heel of her right shoe had snapped off, now just hanging on by the very edge of the corner. "Oh well that is just great," she grumbled.

"You took quite a fall there," she heard a voice of a man speak. She looked up to her side to see him, from on the ground he looked rather tall. His entire outfit was black, all except for the scarf he had tucked into his vest that was a shade of dark purple. He wore a smirk on his face as he looked down at her. After a moment he held out a hand. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm… fine," she sighed as she slipped the broken shoe off and grabbed her purse. Then she put her hand in the stranger's and allowed him to pull her up. She mumbled a thank you once she was back on her feet, standing quite uncomfortably on one bare foot and one elevated in her heel. She shifted from foot to foot for a moment, trying to find a less cumbersome position to stand in. When she realized that wasn't going to happen, she let out an awkward laugh as she leaned over to the side and slipped off the other shoe.

"In a rush to get somewhere?" The stranger inquired, his eyebrow raised as he watched her. His expression looked quite amused. The blonde sighed and nodded her head.

"Yeah, just a little. I'm supposed to be at a meeting with my boss..." She digressed. He made a small 'ah' noise in return as if that interested him.

"I suppose I should leave you to that then?" He questioned, but instead of giving her a chance to reply he held out his hand again, this time for her to shake. "My name is Jefferson," he introduced.

"Alice," she replied. She noticed how gentle he shook her hand, as if she was fragile and he didn't want to break her. He gave her a smile, his eyes reflected a small glisten that she stared at for a moment, as if he was hypnotizing her. He took a step back then, his hand sliding away from hers.

"Very nice to meet you, Alice."

The man Jefferson took a few more steps backwards, before he gave a small wave of his hand and turned on his heels to head off in the opposite direction. Alice stood there for a moment watching as he walked away, trying to figure out where exactly he had come from.

She entered the coffee shop, the flip flops on her feet clapping as she walked to the table where she saw her employers. In her hand she held a bag, inside the broken shoes. She noticed how their eyes automatically looked down to the sparkly blue footwear that was a complete opposite shade of her blue formal dress. She attempted to give her best smile and let out a small uncomfortable laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

As she fell down the hole, she closed her eyes and let her head tip back as she enjoyed the feeling of the wind hitting her face, her hair blowing behind her. It reminded her of freedom, of being able to fly away from all her problems. There was no doubt in her mind that she had fallen asleep. After falling for this long she would have been dead if she were awake, right?

She felt herself slowing down, as if gravity was getting tired of pulling down on her weight and was allowing her to just float down freely. She was a bit hesitant about opening her eyes, but curiosity always got the best of her.

Teacups, tables, lamps, even a bed… Silverware, a mirror, a shelf with some jars; She reached out and grabbed one. "Drink me," she read the label aloud. She let out a _hmm_, and let the jar go, watching as it went above her. She wasn't sure on if the things were moving up as she was moving down, or perhaps they were floating in place as she fell… But one thing for sure, was that this was not normal at all.

She looked down at this point; she was nearing the ground from what she could tell. It looked like the ground was made of tiles, a strange swirl design in gold. After a moment the bottom of her shoes were softly touching the tile with a small click, it took a moment for her to get used to standing up on her own after flying for so long.

Her eyes started taking glances around the room, her feet patting against the ground as she turned in a small circle in the center of the room to see everything that surrounded her… Which only consisted of doors. It was visible that the walls were all painted brown, but only at the bottom of the walls. Red curtains, cutting off in rectangles as to not hide any of the doors, covered the rest of it.

She didn't know what to do next; there were too many choices as to which door she would go through first. One thing had caught her attention though, for it was different than the rest. It was a mirror, a gold trim around the glass in an oval shape. What was a mirror doing in a room of doors? She walked closer to it, until she was only a foot away and looking at herself. She reached up and adjusted the bow in her hair, which only shifted slightly to the right, and then straightened out the torso of her dress before it ballooned out at the hips. She frowned down at the reflection of her shoes; they were pure white until she happened to run in the mud in the woods. Now they were ruined… She sighed. Well, then again, this was only a dream.

She looked up when she heard the pitter-patter of small feet against the tiles. She didn't see anything at first, but felt something brush against her leg. Her eyes shot back down to see a rabbit, a white one to be specific. It was about to run into the mirror when... it ran _through_ the mirror. The glass turned into a sort of wave around it as it passed through, and she took a jump back.

"How is that possible?" She asked, now just staring incredulously at the bottom of the mirror where the rabbit had jumped through. After staring at it in shock for a moment, she took a step forward and put her finger to the glass. The same reaction had happened, the ripple effect on the glass. She didn't even feel as if she was touching an object, as if as she slid her hand further into the glass that she was only touching the air on the other side. And so, as curiosity always got the best of her, she stepped through.

The grass on either side of her was just as tall, if not taller, than herself. There were giant mushrooms, pieces of land seemingly just floating in the blue sky. She stared around, her eyes a bit wider than they were before. She noticed someone running along the narrow stone path, wearing an all white suit along with his white hair tied back into a ponytail. "I'm late!" He cried.

She concluded after a moment of staring at him that he had to have been the white rabbit. There was no other way to end up on this path except for the mirror of which both her and the rabbit had came through, and with all of these unrealistic things occurring around her... Well, nothing seemed impossible anymore.

"Wait, Mr. Rabbit!" She called as the man rounded the corner, she couldn't see him anymore now that the giant mushroom was covering the path. She began to chase after him, he could answer any of the questions that she had… one of them being how exactly did one walk through a mirror? Others included how she ended up falling, for she had no remembrance of anything between her running in the woods and falling, and how he turned from an animal to a human.

She stopped in her tracks though, when a ring of smoke passed in front of her face. She nearly choked on the smoke; she cleared her throat and let her hand rest on her chest.

"Who… are… you?" Two more puffs of smoke followed. She was taken aback as she turned to where the smoke and voice had come from. On top of one of the many giant mushrooms sat a caterpillar, but not any ordinary caterpillar. Instead it was monstrous in size, wearing an eyeglass with a pipe in hand. He took another puff out of the pipe of what she figured was hookah.

Herself and the caterpillar stared at each other for quite some time in silence, before she finally spoke. "I… don't know. Well, I know who I was when I woke up in the morning, but things have changed since then."

The caterpillar then took the pipe from its mouth and set it down, it strangely crawled around to find itself in a more comfortable position. "What do you mean by that? Explain yourself," the creature ordered.

"I can't explain myself, because I'm not myself, you see?"

"I don't see."

"I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly. I don't even understand it myself…" she sighed, her expression looking rather saddened by this.

"You, who are you!" The caterpillar asked contemptuously. The girl stared back at the creature in disbelief, annoyed by its habit of speaking in such small sentences and asking the same question yet again. This conversation wasn't going to be going anywhere, and as she wasted her time the rabbit was running further away. So instead she turned and continued to run away, following the path that the rabbit man had went. The caterpillar called after, telling her that her temper would not get her far here in Wonderland. Whatever that meant.

She didn't have to run very far to end up in front of a doorway that was made out of hedges, she had to be getting closer to where the rabbit had ran off to. She slowed down to a stop, catching her breath as she stood there for just a moment. She looked at the hedges. They were tall just like everything else she had came across so far in this strange place. Was it a maze? She inferred after a moment. She didn't like the way there were different ways to go as she stepped between the tall hedges, glancing down from side to side to see that there were different options of directions to go in.

Her mother had told her before to always go with the first idea that came to mind. That would get her out of trouble, most of the time in trouble although. She would use that method now and see which of the two outcomes she would receive... And so she turned right. Her arm brushed against the hedge, she only felt the prickle of it for a moment before that feeling was replaced by something rougher, something tugging roughly on her arm.

She let out a scream as she fought back against the hand that grabbed on to her from inside the hedge; she tried to pull her arm away from it. She screamed for help, even if she was somewhere where she hadn't seen one person. There had to be someone around here, someone who could help.

Finally after yanking herself away from the hand she tumbled to the ground, now sitting there and holding the spot that the random hand had a grasp on her. She looked at the spot to see that there was now a red hand print in her skin, she rubbed it to try to make her skin turn back to it's normally pale shade.

Help had come, although a few moments late. She heard a series of footsteps against the tiles, clanking of metal as if there were soldiers coming at her. They were, in fact, and as the group of men turned the corner her eyes were drawn to their strange uniforms. The man in the front had no weaponry on him, instead just wore a silly hat on his head and a long red coat with white fur on all the cuffs and collar. The others held swords in their hands; their entire medieval soldier uniform was black and red, their faces covered with a helmet.

"Take her to the Queen!" The man in the lead declared only after a second of looking at her. The soldiers behind him rushed at her before she even had a time to react. They pulled her to her feet and she made a face at them for their lack of politeness.

"Excuse me," she began. "You do not have to handle me with such disrespect." Of course the soldiers wouldn't listen to her, and continued to just drag her along the path. They stayed away from the hedges, she noticed. The way through the maze they had already memorized, for it was like taking a simple stroll for them. "It is entirely rude to treat a lady like this, I could walk by myself," she continued to complain. She didn't put up any struggle, just let her arms and legs go limp as they pulled her.

Finally as they exited the maze, her blue eyes were staring down a narrow tiled path that on either side was complete blackness. The two soldiers holding each of her arms pulled her up until she had no choice but to walk for herself, but yet they did not let their grips on her arms go. She continued to mumble under her breath about their lack of respect to no avail. Up ahead of her there was a group of people forming two lines, wearing strange costumes and masks over their faces. Their masks weren't anything like the soldiers, but instead as if they were attending a masquerade. In the center of the two rows was a large set up of a stage, a series of golden steps leading up to a lonesome golden chair in which a woman sat. A long red veil covered her face; there was a crown visible on her head.

The man that was in the lead of the soldiers quickly put himself at the hidden woman's side. After a small exchange of words, he picked up the other end of something that resembled an elephant's trunk that the woman was holding onto as well. The soldiers dragged the girl to the bottom of the stage, and continued to hold her there. Her eyes looked around to all of the hidden faces, about twenty sets of eyes just staring at her on either side. Some of their heads were tilted as they surveyed her.

"The Queen demands a name."

Her attention was turned back to the stage. The man was speaking firmly to her, his authority showing in his voice. There was something she didn't like about the sound of his voice, he was nothing less than a braggart. The blonde made a face at that. She couldn't understand why he didn't just ask her that question himself.

"My name is Alice."

There was an exchange of whispering through the elephant trunk that the two on the stage held. He held it to his ear, listening to what the woman was saying through it.

"And what is your business in Wonderland, Alice?"

"Well… I'm not sure," the blonde sighed. Another use of the word 'Wonderland'… that must have been the name of this place. She didn't like the expression the man gave her at her answer, as if she made a mistake.

"Then, how did you _get _to Wonderland?"

"I wish I knew, sir."

The people on either side of her giggled, trying their best to keep quiet but yet they couldn't help but let the laugh slip out. Alice narrowed her eyes at them. She didn't appreciate being the joke.

She looked back ahead of her to see that someone was walking towards her, an executioner. A scythe was in his hand; there were heavy stomps and clanks of armor as he headed towards her. His scythe was being swung back…

"Wait!" Alice shouted, trying to free herself from the grasp of the soldiers on either side of her. The executioner stopped.

"I… I can figure it out, if you just give me time," Alice breathed heavily. She felt her heart beating out of control in her chest. Her eyes looked past the man in front of her and to the Queen, she could hear her faint whispering into the horn.

"The Queen is allowing you to live. You must keep your word of telling The Queen how you got to Wonderland. Do not take advantage of her time." The man bowed his head, giving her a rude smirk.

Before Alice had the time to say thank you, she was being dragged away again by the soldiers.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You're still reading this? Yay for me! I hope you're enjoying this, and thank you for reviewing! :) **

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"You have to take it, hun."

"No!"

There were bangs against the wall as the patient slammed his fists into them, thrashing around like a caged animal flapping it's wings in attempt to fly out. Alice took a step back when the man tried to hit her… She frowned at him.

"I don't want to call security, please calm down," she sighed. The patient of hers continuously shouted 'no', now attempting to rip out his hair. It was visible that he had a habit of doing this, by the randomized bald spots that were spread across his head. Alice set the small cup with the medicine inside on the nightstand to the side of her before she moved closer and grabbed onto the man's wrists to pull his hands away from his head. A time like this was when she really wished she had gotten that promotion. He continued to scream at her as she struggled to get his arms pinned down, she didn't have much strength at all… Which was why she wasn't surprised when his push on her caused her to nearly fall down if she didn't catch herself by placing her hand on the wall.

A bit of disappointment flushed over her face as he went back to cradling up in a ball and ripping at his hair again. She didn't like having to give up on her patients, but there was no hope on getting through to this man alone today. She walked over to the door and pressed a small red button on the wall, used to call in the nurses if needed. Being just an aid here in the psychiatric ward, she wasn't able to do much of anything except hand out medicine that was labeled with each patient's name. The actual nurses were to be called if one of the patients weren't cooperating, or if they needed a sedative. She looked over her shoulder at the man rocking back and forth talking to himself in mumbles. She took a step closer, curious to know what it was he was saying. She realized he wasn't speaking in sentences, but repeating the same word over and over again: "Wonderland."

It didn't take long at all for two nurses to rush into the room. They didn't need to ask any questions given his state; they just quickly rushed to his side and began to strap him down to the bed. Meanwhile, as she watched, the blonde tilted her head to the side, wondering why he was repeating that word. She recognized it from a story she read as a kid, she always enjoyed that specific story since she shared the same name as the main character. Oh, perhaps that was why he was saying that word. He must have read her nametag.

One of the brown-haired nurses turned to her. "We can handle it from here," she spoke bitterly. Alice gave her a frown, followed by a nod of her head to show she understood. She didn't like being talked to in such a rude manner; she didn't even know why the nurses weren't fond of her. It wasn't as if she was ever disrespectful to them… But something told her that it was simply because of the looks the doctors would sometimes send to her. The younger ones spoke to her differently than they would to the nurses, whom were all a bit older and not so concerned with their appearance anymore. It had nothing to do with anything that Alice had personally done herself.

She turned to leave the room then, the man's whimpers drowning out as the steel door closed behind her. She breathed out a sigh as she took a moment to lean against the wall in the darkened hallway; the only source of light was the blinking florescent lights hanging on the ceiling. The only noise was coming from a random patient whom was entertaining herself by sweeping the floor with a broom. Alice took a glance down at the ground, which was rather clean. The cleanest she saw it, actually. The female patient had been sweeping up and down this small hallway for hours now. It was an unrelenting sound of the bristles rubbing up against the ground, of the small taps of the patient's shoes as she moved over inch by inch as to not miss a spot.

"Mrs. Watters," Alice finally spoke out against the silence politely. "You've done a great job, you can hand the broom over." She held out her hand, waiting to be handed the broom… But the patient just stared at her, emptiness in her eyes. The sound of the bristles didn't stop.

"Did you hear me, Mrs.?"

The bristles didn't stop.

"Mrs. Watters."

The bristles didn't stop.

"Are you listening to me?"

Being in this place was going to drive her mad one day, but it was more than just for financial purposes that she worked here. She felt as if she belonged. She only hoped that that feeling was because of her passion to help the mentally ill, and not because she was one of the mentally ill. She didn't feel crazy, though. She definitely had gone through a past here that have had a risk of driving her to that point, but she felt sane. Sort of. As her reaction to being ignored, she breathed inwardly in a deep sigh.

She grabbed another small cup with pills inside off of the cart, spinning it in her hand as she searched for a name or room number. This was the one that was always left without any markings, so she knew exactly where to take it. To the only room that also had no name nor room number. Why? Well, she didn't know. But she was smart enough to know not to ask questions.

When she approached the door, she gave a small knock before she inserted the key into the lock and slowly pushed open the door. The woman inside was already staring at her by the time she peeked inside to see her, her brown hair a mess around her beautiful face. Alice gave her a smile as she slipped inside, closing the door behind her.

"How are you feeling today?" She asked gently.

"Quite the same."

When it came to this patient, Alice hadn't a clue why she was here. There was no chart, no name, nothing as to whom she even was. The only thing she could think of as to why the brunette woman was locked inside of this room was because of her failure to know her own name. All that she could remember is life inside of this cell, which always tended to make Alice quite depressed. She wasn't dangerous… If anything, she was gentler and kinder than the "sane" people who worked here.

The blonde tried to give a small smile as she took a seat next to her on the bed. She handed her over the cup of medicine, and the brunette took it without question.

"You know I wish I could help you," Alice sighed. She frowned as she watched the woman take the pills. It would only take less than twenty minutes for the effects to kick in on her, and she would do nothing the rest of the day except sit and stare at the four walls. That was all her days consisted of… Until someone decided to slide a plate of mush into the room, then she would fall asleep. Then, she would live it all over again.

"There is nothing you can do, Alice," the brunette spoke, her slight accent audible. "Even if you somehow managed to get me out of here, I have nowhere to go. And you'll be out of a job, and probably in prison. We've talked about this before…"

"What makes you think they would figure out it was me? I could take my chances."

"Now you're talking crazy."

"Maybe I'm the one that should be in here."

They both let out small light-hearted laughs that only lasted for a moment.

"You want to get me out of here, right?" The brunette asked. Alice nodded. "So you know that I'm not insane."

"Well, if I can have a conversation with you without you trying to kill me a minute into it, then no. I don't think you're insane."

The opening of the door startled both of them when it smacked against the wall from the force behind it. In the doorway was a woman, with black hair a bit on the shorter side. She was dressed in a black office dress, the only source of color in her appearance being her red lips. Alice recognized her immediately as the mayor.

"Are you done here?" She spoke, her voice sharp and laced with authority. The way she looked at Alice warned her that her answer had better been yes… No, was _going _to be yes.

"Uh… yeah, I was just…" Alice stammered nervously. She stood up without hesitance, quickly straightening out her dress of a uniform.

"Well then you have no reason to still be in here. Leave," Regina snarled.

The brunette locked eyes with Regina, just staring at each other. There was a difference between the looks on each woman's face. The patient looked befuddled, perhaps even scared. Regina had a sense of triumph in her aura, like seeing the woman so depressed gave her a rush of happiness.

Alice walked past the woman in the doorway. She could feel the air of dangerous eyes burning into her as she passed. There was something suspicious about the relationship of these two. The mayor had been here before, a lot, actually. There were no questions asked, not by anyone, as if the rest of the staff here already knew why the mayor would visit her. No one talked about it, despite how strange it was. The next day the brunette patient wouldn't talk about what happened as if she didn't even remember her visitor… That was how it always worked.

...

It was twenty minutes later when Alice was finally done with the day's shift. There was no sighting of Regina leaving the patient's room, but when Alice walked past it, it was quiet. She had to have left. Now Alice was standing behind the front desk, taking small glances over to the work that was laid out in front of the secretary. Her eyes were staring at it, her hand scribbling in a dash of a pace, concentrating hard enough that Alice was surprised she didn't pop a blood vessel. There was always that scrunched up, owl look on the woman's face though. She wasn't a cruel person, but her face was naturally that way. It was rare that she would crack a smile.

There was something else on the table, a rose. Every time the mayor would come to visit the girl without a name, she would present the secretary with one. She wasn't sure why, she was almost certain that the two weren't friends. Rarely Alice would eavesdrop on a conversation between the two women, but when she did they always happened to be short, and a bit hostile. Forced, if anything. She knew that the flower had to represent something…

"That's a lovely flower. You should put it in water," Alice commented as she signed her name on the chart in hand. That was her way of signing in and out of work, just so they didn't loose track of her hours.

"I guess," the secretary replied with a sigh. She picked the rose up by the stem, spinning it around in her hand for a moment. "Oh, that reminds me."

The woman stood from her chair, disappearing into the break room behind her for a moment. Alice smirked as she set the chart down, her eyes glancing over the paper work the woman was working on. It looked more like a journal, with the days date at the top. The title was one word... or, name actually. Belle.

"Some man left this here for you about an hour ago."

Alice looked up when the secretary returned, in her hands a stuffed animal: A white rabbit. A smile formed on her face as she took it, her eyes scanning over the fluffy thing. It was her favorite animal since as long as she could remember. It was only curious as to who would leave it for her.

"Did uh… Did they have a name?" Alice looked back up.

The woman shook her head. "No, he was just tall, broody. All he said was 'give this to Alice.' Then he left."

The woman continued to talk as Alice stared at the stuffed rabbit in her hands. It was smiling at her, the face on it looked rather pleased to see her. "I don't even know how he got down here, to be honest. One of the nurses upstairs must have punched in the code to unlock the door up there."

"Well, thank you," Alice let out a small laugh nervously. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The secretary nodded at her as she began to walk away, still starring at the rabbit in her hands. The face on it almost looked strangely familiar; maybe she owned a stuffed animal just the same as this one as a child.

As Alice left the hospital, there was a hushed conversation happening in the parking lot as she walked past. She glanced from the corner of her eye to see that one of the people participating in the small talk was the mayor. Alice slowed her pace to catch a few words.

"I want you to stay away from her," the voice of a man spoke harshly. Warningly.

"I can't do that, my dear Jefferson. If she continues to grow a bond with my patient, then it has to be dealt with." The mayor's voice was slow, almost humored as if she was mocking him.

The conversation stopped, and Alice could feel two pairs of eyes on her as she scurried past.


	4. Chapter 4

She pushed on the glass, but nothing happened.

"Why won't you work?" She frowned, attempting to kick out the glass of the mirror. Alice had been here for an hour already, trying to get the portal to work. She had tried everything that came to mind, but the mirror refused to open.

She pushed her hair from her face, letting out a sigh of aggravation; She knew it was time to give up. The Queen was going to have her head…. Alice turned away, watching the ground as she walked back up the path. Perhaps she could make a deal with The Queen, make her understand that the way she came to Wonderland wouldn't let her leave. But now that the soldiers were gone, there was no one to confirm that she wasn't lying.

"This is where I came in." Alice pointed towards the mirror. The soldiers walked up to it, overlooking their reflections.

"_How does it work?" One soldier asked, his voice muffled inside his headgear._

"_On the other side, well… I walked through it."_

_The soldiers nodded at her, then one put his hand on the glass. The wave formed around his touch, and he let out a chuckle._

"_You first," he looked to his partner. They didn't hesitate to disappear into the mirror, leaving Alice standing there. She glanced around, waiting for them to come back. It was minutes later that Alice decided to follow._

_She stepped forward, leaning in to go through the portal. She squeaked as she knocked her head and tumbled back, landing on the ground with a small thud. _

She didn't have to go back; perhaps she could just hide. But, something told her that the queen's soldiers would have a problem finding her. She barely knew anything about this land… She wouldn't survive her by herself for a day.

"You are headed the wrong way. Or perhaps the right. But then again it could be left."

"Oh!"

Alice jumped back; her heart seemed to have pounded out of her body. She put her hands on her chest as if she was pushing it back in, taking in a deep breath as she looked to what was now standing in front of her, blocking her path. There was a cat, although it was rather mangy: hairless, to be exact. It wore a hoop earring on one ear, both of the ears standing tall and pointed. The grin was the most disturbing part of the animal's appearance.

"Have you lost your head?" The cat continued on to ask.

"Not yet," Alice sighed. She stared at the cat curiously; perhaps it was a friend? She could use one of those around here to guide her.

"So you have, I see."

"No, I said that I have not."

"If you still have your head, then why are you walking to the Queen?"

"I never said that I was."

"So you're not, then?"

"Well…"

"I had thought so."

Her arms crossed her chest, a slight frown on her lips as she studied the cat. "What are you supposed to be anyways?" She inquired curiously.

"I ask you the same."

Was she honestly going to have to have this conversation again, now with a new strange creature? She thought of walking around it, and so she did. Her feet stomped against the ground, she wanted to just get all of this trouble with The Queen over with. This strange place was not pleasant, not one bit.

"Why ignore advice?" She barely made it a few feet before the cat appeared in front of her. It chuckled at her surprise. "You look as if you've seen a ghost."

"I think I may have."

"I am not a ghost if that is what you're implying. I am a Cheshire Cat," it grinned.

"Well, whatever you may be, I don't need your advice. I am doing just fine on my own, but thank you."

"Oh my. Here I was under the impression you were willing to learn."

"…What is it you could possibly tell me?"

"What is it you would like to know?"

Alice crossed her arms, staring at the cat that grinned at her yet. She had plenty of questions, and someone, or thing really, to answer them for her. She could only hope that he knew the answers.

"Why wont the mirror work for me?" Her first question.

"The same amount of people whom come through the mirror can leave through it. It seems you may be stuck."

"And why must The Queen be so hostile about me being in her land?"

"She doesn't take well to strangers. Err, well, to anyone to be exact. To the royal guards in this realm, we're all victims in-waiting."

It was silent then, Alice staring at the cat as it stared back at her. It seemed neither of them had anything to say at this point. If the Queen was out to kill practically everyone who was in Wonderland, she had no hope of returning home. What would make her any different than anyone else in this place? Well, besides the fact that she was not a talking animal.

"…And so the mirror is the only way in and out of Wonderland?"

"Ah, you catch on quickly. You might serve a purpose."

A purpose… What exactly could he mean by that? She wasn't sure, but it stuck in the back of her mind and tried to convince her not to give up. She had a home to return to, where her family and friends were waiting on her to return. They might have not been the most pleasant of people, but it was definitely better than having no head. On her first arrival to Wonderland, Alice was hoping this place could have been her relief from her life back at home. Her chance for freedom. Now it would merely be the death of her.

"Well then I have to find a way to make it work again," Alice concluded. She nodded her head, glancing off as she put her mind to work.

"Perhaps you should see the Hatter."

"The who?"

"The Mad Hatter."

"I don't want to speak to anybody who's mad."

"We're all mad here, Alice."

"How do you know my name?"

…..

When she approached the maze, Alice took a few steps towards the hedges, her hand reaching out. The cat had given her a key piece of advice, that this would be the quickest way to the Queen. When her fingers brushed against the hedges, a hand grabbed hers. Alice didn't resist against the pull, being dragged in to the wall of the labyrinth. It was dark, and all the girl felt was being dragged down a steep hill. She couldn't see who was there, where she was going. It was like taking a walk straight to your doom, marching down until you were face to face with death.

To live without fearlessness is impossible. No matter how much you convince yourself to believe that you can truly live without fears, it will not become true. That moment when you are looking towards death, it's arms widening to invite you in… That is when fear is inevitable.

Her heart beat heavily, her eyes staying open as she attempted to find anything besides blackness to look into. That raised the question in her mind, if it was more terrifying to see what was coming your way, or to close your eyes and just allow it to happen. Down the way, she saw a small flicker of light. Alice stared at it as she allowed herself to be dragged, the light was nearly hypnotizing her. A small smile curled up on her lips.

When she finally got close enough to the light, she figured out where it was coming from: The hedges, waving back and forth in the wind.

Alice was now able to see where she was. It was a hallway, the walls made up of the hedges. Pulling her along was a guard, except this one had on a strange jumpsuit that was entirely gold. The only opening was slits for his eyes. _How does he breath in there?_ He let his fierce grip on her wrist go, not without giving her a shove out of the hedge first. Alice looked around, quickly realizing where she was. It was exactly where she had hoped to get.

Alice walked down the long bridge, two soldiers now following behind her. The Queen was in the same spot, as well as the two lines of people and the braggart. When Alice approached the stage, a soldier grabbed her for a moment to prevent her from getting too close. She shrugged his hand off her shoulder.

"A mirror. That was my way into Wonderland," Alice spoke up. There was something different in her voice, pride. She kept her chin up, staring at the Queen, whose face was still hidden by the red veil. She refused to talk to the woman through the man with the horn; her words would be spoken to this queen directly.

"I led your soldiers to the mirror, and they disappeared through it. Now it does not work. If you must have my head for this, then so be it." Her blonde hair hid her face as she dropped to one knee, her head bowed to face the ground. Her eyes closed and she gulped, using her hair as a mask to hide her terrified expression. She only could hope that he did not set her up.

She waited, each second that ticked by felt multiplied by ten. She listened to nothing but her heart beat, pounding away like a tribal drum roll that grows to be faster and faster until something terrible happens.

"On your feet for The Queen."

Upon hearing those words, Alice took a sharp inhale of breath. She squeezed her eyes and muttered a 'thank you' that only she could hear, before she did as instructed.

"The Queen has a need for soldiers with bravery such as yours. You will live, and you will join The Queen's army."

"W-What?"

That was not supposed to happen. The cat had promised her that The Queen liked those who proved to have courage… But he mentioned nothing of her wanting to recruit the brave. Had he known that the entire time? He tricked her, Alice believed. He probably stood nearby, watching with satisfaction, as she stood dumbstruck before The Queen. He fed off of her misery just as he fed off her confusion.

The soldiers began to move towards her, ready to take her to castle and create a warrior out of her. Alice's eyes darted around, she was being enclosed between the soldiers and all of a sudden she became claustrophobic. So she did the first thing that came to mind… She ran.

The blonde dodged between two soldiers whom automatically reached out to grab her. She heard screams from behind her, the two lines of people acting as if she was going on a murderous rampage, when she was simply running down the ramp.

"Off with her head!"

That was a different voice, the voice of The Queen. Alice only looked over her shoulder for a moment to catch a glimpse of The Queen who was now on her feet, the veil moved away from her face. She had black hair, done up on the top of her head. She was an older lady, perhaps sixty. There was an evil look on her face that you would never forget; She wanted to kill.

When Alice looked back in front of her, there was a soldier who thought he was smart and was waiting for her to run into him. She stopped in her tracks, but to her demise her shoes slid against the tiles from her momentum and she went crashing onto her back. She groaned as she arched her back off the ground from the slight pain. She looked up, the executioner now standing over her.

She only made it less than twenty feet before she was staring up at the scythe that was being prepared to end her. She had hoped that if her running away didn't work that she would have at least lasted more than a minute. In fact, she only ran for less than a minute. She stared up at the scythe as it swung down, directed at her neck…

The scythe made a loud clink as it stabbed into the ground, successfully making a large crack in the tiles. Alice breathed out a laugh, in a crouching stance a foot away from the weapon with a grin on her face. She sprang to her feet as the executioner struggled to get the scythe out of the ground. She ran into the maze, which wasn't going to be much of a problem for her now.

"I was hoping you'd decide to run."

"You really don't look pleasant as just a floating head."

Alice chased after Cheshire Cat who was leading her through the maze overhead. She was still breathless, but nevertheless she kept her grin on her face, matching the cats. At the last minute before the scythe swung down, he had appeared above her.

"Just like you wouldn't look pleasant without one. Ah, don't look back. You'll tumble."

Alice stopped looking over her shoulder at the soldiers whom were chasing after her.

"So, do you have a plan on where to go next?"

"I was hoping that you would have one."

"Well I don't."

Alice gasped as an arrow went right past her head, instead stabbing into the herb in front of her. She quickly turned the corner.

"Afraid to say you're on your own from here," the cat added.

That was when it disappeared, and Alice was too distracted watching the air where his head had been a second ago. She squealed as she felt herself falling forward, her first reaction was to try to push herself backwards. Her feet did a little dance at the edge of the cliff, only causing her to fall onto her back before she began to slide down. She felt her body hitting off the ground every few seconds from bouncing as she rolled down, her hair catching up twigs and her dress getting full of dirt.

When she finally stopped falling down the cliff, she groaned and laid flat on her back. She hesitantly let her eyes flutter open, everything around her spinning in circles. At first she thought perhaps it was, but when she went to sit up she realized it was her head. She lay back down then, waiting for her dizziness to fade away before she tried to get up again. She looked over to where she had fell from, a very deep hill that had to be about a mile high. She was surprised she wasn't completely unconscious from the fall, but she was close to it.

When Alice finally stood up, she put her hand on a tree next to her to keep her balance. She looked around the area; she seemed to be in a forest. At first she had thought perhaps she had waken up from her dream when she began to hallucinate that she was falling… Except the forest wasn't ordinary, because just like where she had first entered Wonderland, there were giant mushrooms. She let out a sigh of despair, pushing herself to go forward. She began to pluck the twigs out of her hair, throwing them harshly at the ground in frustration. She just wanted to go home.

"I think she fell down there."

Alice glanced behind her, coming down the hill were more groups of soldiers. She cursed under her breath, picking up her pace only slightly. She glanced down at herself, her arms full of dirt and mud, and her dress was the same. She was a complete mess, her hair all over the place as if she ratted it. Under her shoe, a branch snapped.

"What was that?"

Alice turned around and made a face, unsure on how the soldiers far behind her in the trees heard such a small noise. She started to jog then, when she heard feet pattering against the grass at a higher pace. She broke into a run then, dodging the trees. The footsteps behind her were catching up; she refused to look back because she remembered if she did she would fall.

Someone grabbed onto her arm, she started to scream but a hand placed itself over her mouth. The hand muffled her screams; the arm that wrapped itself around her waist was pulling her backwards.

Trees surrounded them now, Alice was desperately trying to look to see who was holding onto her. She continued to attempt at squirming away, screeching into the hand to let her go.

"Shut up," his voice hissed into her ear.

She did as she was told when she saw the soldiers running by, oblivious to them hiding in the trees. He continued to hold her there until they were gone. When he let her go, Alice stumbled forward.

Alice slowly turned around, unsure if she really wanted to see whom it was that was now just standing behind her. When she did her eyes widened for just a moment. It was a man, he stood almost a foot over her and he had shaggy hair that surrounded his face, topped with a hat. He was young, somewhere around ten years older than her, but nothing more. His arms were crossed across his chest, his eyes looking her up and down. When he met her eyes, he made a smirk that was rather animated.

"…Who are you?"

"I think your first remark is supposed to be 'thank you.'"

Alice shook her head nervously, making a small noise in her throat. "Y-yeah, thank you."

The man made a snort of a laugh, then after giving her one last look turned on his heels and began to stroll of.

"Hey, where are you going?"

He continued to walk a few strides before he turned around, bending slightly at the knees as he did so. His arms went up on either side of him, shrugging with his palms facing the sky. He was quite vivacious with all his actions.

"Where are you going?" He reversed the question.

"… I don't know."

"Well perhaps finding out would be a good idea," he winked.

Alice crossed her arms; she narrowed her eyes slightly at him. Did everyone in this place speak in such an aggravating way? "I don't even know where I am, let alone where I'm going."

His expression was blank for a moment, and then he suddenly broke into laughter. His face lit up as he did, as if he just heard the funniest thing in the world. Alice jumped back slightly.

"I'm being rude aren't I?" He asked after a moment. He took the hat from his head as he did a small bow.

"You can call me Hatter."


End file.
